Writing Can someone help me ;-; im starting to lose hope in my short story

Discussion in 'Share your own project' started by lolcatpink, Mar 15, 2018.

  1. lolcatpink

    lolcatpink Pink VIP Pink VIP Seasoned Adventurer Adventurer Oldtimer

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    This story is simply about a boy going through his final moments in life and basically re living his happiest moments before blood loss kicks in and he hops in that cold bath aha








    Dead Boy



    He glanced towards the blurry instances of four red numbers that displayed 02:43 A:M, With a subtle sigh he attempted to sit up from his dizzy state. Prior to his awakening he had far too much of that liquid ecstasy, pleasure in a bottle they say. His eyes darted towards the newly made red stains along his light blue sheets a whisper escaped from his lips “Fuck another line, she’s going to kill me.” He brought his arms towards an old used couch to pull himself up. He stumbled towards his door as a ring emitted from each ear, a dark shadow bolted across the doorway, he ignored it as he pressed on towards the bathroom a simple few steps from his door yet it felt endless. He struggled to make sense of his surrounding, His legs gave way as he felt a sharp pain throughout them, his forehead connected with the corner of the bathroom door. As a searing pain shot through him, He struggled to bring his numb arm to his forehead as blood trickled down slowly. His arm dropped to the floor as his guilty conscious set in “She will hate me” A reassuring voice spoke softly intertwined with his thoughts. A smile rose from such words as cynical thoughts crossed his mind. He stood up with little, blood now dripping drop his new found gash. He walked to his bathtub tossing the plug in covering the whole before turning on the water. A few drops of blood entered the water as it mingled fading into nothing. Stepping out of the bathroom and down his dark hall a flourish of sudden splotches covered his living room. A sudden uplifting sensation held him close, color was now much apparent in his life. A woman looked towards him as she sat in a glossy wooden chair by the window. She spoke with so much care as a smile slowly became of the boys lips. “Darling why do you look so sad? Didn’t I say id always be here?” She glided out of the chair towards him and as he was about to embrace her, it all faded as the darkness came back into view. The poor boy was alone once again, he let out a sigh using the wall to brace himself as he made his way to the fridge. He opened it to see almost nothing, he smiled as a bottle caught his eye. Time had little to no influence to him as he grabbed the bottle taking a swig as the burn filled his chest. Just then he was no longer in front of his fridge but sitting at a dinner table with three very familiar faces, one was the same woman before and she seemed to be holding his hand. In front of them seemed to be like a thanks giving meal. As his eyes wandered to the other two figures
     
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  2. PhantomFury

    PhantomFury Young Knight Seasoned Adventurer

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    Nicely written!
     
  3. lolcatpink

    lolcatpink Pink VIP Pink VIP Seasoned Adventurer Adventurer Oldtimer

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    Thanks I try ;_;
     
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